I am posting another little excerpt from my book on motherhood. This one is more like a journal entry than an excerpt because I haven’t don’t the first bit of editing on it yet. I really want to highlight how being a mom opened my eyes up to the generations before me and how that added richness to my life. Any of you out there had a similar experience? I would love to know about it.
Love,
Kerri LB xoxo
Far From Ordinary
I remember shortly after I had my first child, my beautiful daughter Kaylan, (who is now 10) I experienced a period of real loneliness. My mother was working, my sister was working, and I was the first among all of my close friends to have a baby. At 27 years old, it sometimes felt like life was passing me by. All of a sudden I wasn’t free to go out to dinner whenever I wanted, or just grab a cup of coffee. I was at home with a baby all day, and sometimes all night, with no one to talk to. My husband was still new in his ministry career and was working many long days. I often felt lonely and isolated. Even though I loved my beautiful new baby girl, I craved adult interaction. It wasn’t anything tragic. It was just that sometimes I felt like my brain was turning into mashed bananas!
One day the bright idea struck me to visit my grandmother, my mother’s mom, with my new baby. The fact was she was the only one available. My grandmother’s name was Evelyn Gertrude Louque Boyle. She was really the spiritual matriarch of our family, but in no way would I describe her as “formidable.” In fact, she was just the opposite. She was down to earth, funny, and a little mischievous. She wore these thick glasses with silver cat-eye frames that had little rhinestones in the corners for most of my life. Her daily uniform was a house coat and slippers from TG&Y. Most of the week, or at least every time I saw her, she had her hair in pink foam rollers set with Dippty Do. She took her rollers out and put on a dress for Sunday church services and then put them back on again on Monday. Her favorite things to do were to wake up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays and go to garage sales, draw, read the Bible, pray, and feed people.
We were close, but because I was always going to school or working, I had not had the time to spend visiting with her as much as I would have liked. She called me frequently, but I am ashamed to admit that I did not always pick up the phone or return her calls. Now, however, I hoped that she would be available for me. I was so desperate to talk to someone who used words to communicate and not 100 decibel shrieks. She was a widow and she could not drive, so I was pretty sure she’d be home.
When I drove up, she was so glad to see me. She flung open the front door, and came padding out to meet me in her housecoat and slippers. I remember walking into my grandmother’s house and feeling immediately relaxed. As we talked, she brought something very valuable into my life – long term perspective. Here was a woman who raised four children and lived through the great depression. She was a pioneer of salvation in her family, the first of many to be saved. She was a giver to the poor that frequently came to her house in need of food or clothing. She had lived a lot of life, some of it really tough. But she kept her faith in God and her love for His Word the most important things in her world.
From her vantage point it was pretty clear which things matter in the long run and which things don’t. She encouraged me to put love, forgiveness, and trust before my own selfish needs. She encouraged me to slow down and embrace this season of life, because laundry and work will always be with me. She laughed at things that other moms my age were freaking out about, knowing that in about a week or two none of it would matter. She had the time to listen to me and to pray for me. In return, I was able to take her on errands that she couldn’t go on alone. I took her to the grocery store, to the fruit stand, to the bank – just small errands that made a big difference to her.
My grandmother and I became unlikely companions that year. I came to know her in a new way. I learned about her childhood, about my own history, and about my family in a way I couldn’t have from any other person. In a bittersweet way, I saw that aging really does make it more difficult to change your habits and perspectives, but I also learned to honor that season of life by gleaning the wisdom from her life and experience. Yes, the world was vastly different when she was raising her children (and I must say that I am very glad for that – I like 21st century life!) But so much of what I gathered from our time together was timeless in its appeal and application. Mostly I learned that generations standing together are stronger than generations standing alone. Shortly after my daughter’s first birthday, we moved to Jacksonville, Florida to start Celebration Church. I was so thankful for the time I had with my grandmother, and I missed her companionship.
My grandmother crossed the line into eternity in January of 2007. I had the honor of presiding over her funeral. Two things about her life stood out to me as I was preparing the eulogy:
She gave God what appeared to be an average life by any earthly standard, but He breathed on it and made it great. The dictionary defines greatness as, “extraordinary powers; having unusual merit; very admirable.” To the human eye, I am sure that her life seemed far from great. But to the Father’s eyes I am confident that it was admirable and worthy of merit.
Because of her “Yes” to God, three generations were clothed in salvation. I am standing on her shoulders now because she stood up for God. I owe my success to this poor widow from Baton Rouge, Louisiana because she stood, often alone, and believed God for her family to come to Christ.
So maybe since you’ve just had a baby, you feel like your world has gotten a little smaller in some ways. I want to encourage you not to mistake “smaller” for “less important.” There are God opportunities in every minute of your day. Ask God to show you those moments. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you in that still, small voice and breathe life into the ordinary places in your daily life. Don’t waste your season, embrace it. Because this is not a break from kingdom purpose, it’s just a different battle ground.
Remember that there may be friends in unlikely places. Maybe you don’t have a grandmother like I did, but I guarantee you that there are some awesome, mature women of God whose company you would love and who would be blessed by your friendship as well.
I remember shortly after I had my first child, my beautiful daughter Kaylan, (who is now 10) I experienced a period of real loneliness. My mother was working, my sister was working, and I was the first among all of my close friends to have a baby. At 27 years old, it sometimes felt like life was passing me by. All of a sudden I wasn’t free to go out to dinner whenever I wanted, or just grab a cup of coffee. I was at home with a baby all day, and sometimes all night, with no one to talk to. My husband was still new in his ministry career and was working many long days. I often felt lonely and isolated. Even though I loved my beautiful new baby girl, I craved adult interaction. It wasn’t anything tragic. It was just that sometimes I felt like my brain was turning into mashed bananas!
One day the bright idea struck me to visit my grandmother, my mother’s mom, with my new baby. The fact was she was the only one available. My grandmother’s name was Evelyn Gertrude Louque Boyle. She was really the spiritual matriarch of our family, but in no way would I describe her as “formidable.” In fact, she was just the opposite. She was down to earth, funny, and a little mischievous. She wore these thick glasses with silver cat-eye frames that had little rhinestones in the corners for most of my life. Her daily uniform was a house coat and slippers from TG&Y. Most of the week, or at least every time I saw her, she had her hair in pink foam rollers set with Dippty Do. She took her rollers out and put on a dress for Sunday church services and then put them back on again on Monday. Her favorite things to do were to wake up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays and go to garage sales, draw, read the Bible, pray, and feed people.
We were close, but because I was always going to school or working, I had not had the time to spend visiting with her as much as I would have liked. She called me frequently, but I am ashamed to admit that I did not always pick up the phone or return her calls. Now, however, I hoped that she would be available for me. I was so desperate to talk to someone who used words to communicate and not 100 decibel shrieks. She was a widow and she could not drive, so I was pretty sure she’d be home.
When I drove up, she was so glad to see me. She flung open the front door, and came padding out to meet me in her housecoat and slippers. I remember walking into my grandmother’s house and feeling immediately relaxed. As we talked, she brought something very valuable into my life – long term perspective. Here was a woman who raised four children and lived through the great depression. She was a pioneer of salvation in her family, the first of many to be saved. She was a giver to the poor that frequently came to her house in need of food or clothing. She had lived a lot of life, some of it really tough. But she kept her faith in God and her love for His Word the most important things in her world.
From her vantage point it was pretty clear which things matter in the long run and which things don’t. She encouraged me to put love, forgiveness, and trust before my own selfish needs. She encouraged me to slow down and embrace this season of life, because laundry and work will always be with me. She laughed at things that other moms my age were freaking out about, knowing that in about a week or two none of it would matter. She had the time to listen to me and to pray for me. In return, I was able to take her on errands that she couldn’t go on alone. I took her to the grocery store, to the fruit stand, to the bank – just small errands that made a big difference to her.
My grandmother and I became unlikely companions that year. I came to know her in a new way. I learned about her childhood, about my own history, and about my family in a way I couldn’t have from any other person. In a bittersweet way, I saw that aging really does make it more difficult to change your habits and perspectives, but I also learned to honor that season of life by gleaning the wisdom from her life and experience. Yes, the world was vastly different when she was raising her children (and I must say that I am very glad for that – I like 21st century life!) But so much of what I gathered from our time together was timeless in its appeal and application. Mostly I learned that generations standing together are stronger than generations standing alone. Shortly after my daughter’s first birthday, we moved to Jacksonville, Florida to start Celebration Church. I was so thankful for the time I had with my grandmother, and I missed her companionship.
My grandmother crossed the line into eternity in January of 2007. I had the honor of presiding over her funeral. Two things about her life stood out to me as I was preparing the eulogy:
She gave God what appeared to be an average life by any earthly standard, but He breathed on it and made it great. The dictionary defines greatness as, “extraordinary powers; having unusual merit; very admirable.” To the human eye, I am sure that her life seemed far from great. But to the Father’s eyes I am confident that it was admirable and worthy of merit.
Because of her “Yes” to God, three generations were clothed in salvation. I am standing on her shoulders now because she stood up for God. I owe my success to this poor widow from Baton Rouge, Louisiana because she stood, often alone, and believed God for her family to come to Christ.
So maybe since you’ve just had a baby, you feel like your world has gotten a little smaller in some ways. I want to encourage you not to mistake “smaller” for “less important.” There are God opportunities in every minute of your day. Ask God to show you those moments. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you in that still, small voice and breathe life into the ordinary places in your daily life. Don’t waste your season, embrace it. Because this is not a break from kingdom purpose, it’s just a different battle ground.
Remember that there may be friends in unlikely places. Maybe you don’t have a grandmother like I did, but I guarantee you that there are some awesome, mature women of God whose company you would love and who would be blessed by your friendship as well.
Stovall and Me
